So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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