I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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