You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
