i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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