The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
