I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
