Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
