Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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