Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
