Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
