Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize