You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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