Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize