Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
