he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
