Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
