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• (207): View more from Maine

  i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening

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• (727): View more from Florida

  You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.

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