I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
