Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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