Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
