I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize