D3 body, D1 cock
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
bring money and cleavage
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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