I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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