My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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