Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
