dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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