No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She tied me up with her honor cords...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So much rum. So many feels.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
