im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
