let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Sorry my hands just texted you
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
