Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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