Duck Duck Cougar?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
