i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
