I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
