Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
