Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
