I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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