either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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