You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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