i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
