you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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