16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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