she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
