Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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