we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
one two three fourrrrnication!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
