Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
