I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
