i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
babies were throwing up all over the place
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
