is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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