I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
