Me. At least after what I've been through.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
