i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
