So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
everyone is single if you try hard enough
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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