My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
