OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
