Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
