wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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