My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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