No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
