So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize