So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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