The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
