i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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