the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.â€
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