He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
