Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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