I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
