You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
