Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
